Daily updates - Goodbye, Ganapathy
I noticed that God/Amma/Devi has been really trying to detach me from the idol-concept of her for a while. It started a few days before a close friend's housewarming party, and from thereon it has been a lesson: Detachment. Finally, today, the reason manifested: Restrictions. I was restricting the way she could show up in my life. I usually use my intuition to detail the decisions for me, but past few days has been chaotic in that sense, as i felt like a twig in a whirwind not knowing which way is up. Whenever i pray, I often cry out in pain - yearning to see her divine form as she has appeared for beings before me. I'd tell myself that she can't appear because, like Krishna says in the Gita, her energy is like a thousand blazing suns. But, the yearning was still there. I spoke to my ammukutty (my mom) today. As she enquried why I cry when I pray, I told her. Part of me thought she'd see it as a sign of how devoted I am to this path - such an egoic thought proces...